Windham
Chapter Meeting
First Monday of each month at 6:30 pm - 8:00 pm
All those in recovery or who support recovery are welcomed to
join to start working toward the solution of reducing the stigma
of addiction and assist in helping those enhance their life
in recovery.
Windham Recovery Community Center
1009 Main St, Willimantic, CT 06226
860-423-7088
Diane
Potvin is the Senior Peer Services Coordinator for the Windham
Area you can contact her at 860-377-9290 or by email diane@ccar.us
Windham
Chapter Articles
Memorial
Day
Memorial
Day this year came to me with mixed emotions. I remembered my
grandfather who has passed and who fought to protect our country
and I also thought of the many men and women who laid down their
lives since 9-11 in the recent war on terrorism. I also remembered
how I usually spend Memorial Day with family, cooking out and
playing with the kids and my wife.
Since
this is my first year to celebrate Memorial Day since the divorce
and being in recovery, there was no wife this year to share
the holiday and my son is not living with me at this time, and
my daughters were both working today, I felt very alone.
This
is the first time in a while that my thoughts went to drugs
and how well they ease this kind of pain and believe me, the
temptation was strong. It would only take one phone call to
ease this pain.
My
thoughts, however, came with a price of guilt and shame, and
then luckily I redirected my thoughts towards my friend who
told me that he too, would be spending most of the day alone.
We both had plans to go to a gathering of friends at 5:00 p.m.
but it seemed so far away since it was only 12:15 p.m.
I
also remembered that he would be at the Windham Recovery Community
Center from 12:00 p.m. to 4:00 p.m. volunteering so I headed
down there still having thoughts of using today. When I arrived
I saw not only my friend who I was going to hang out with but
also several other recovering people who all greeted me with
warmth.
Within
about 15 minutes we decided to have and formed a recovery meeting
and I soon found I was not alone today. I told them of my thoughts
and they said they were proud of me for coming to the Center.
Each of us spoke of what the day meant to us and closed the
meeting with a circle, holding hands and each came up with a
positive thought for the day. Thank God CCAR and the Recovery
Center was here for me today, as I left feeling good about myself
and back in the recovery state of mind and safe for the day.
By
Don Phillips
My Story
My
story starts at the age 14. So you can have the short version.
I've
been an I.V. drug user since 1982. My first drug was heroin,
who introduced me is unimportant. Why you ask is I've already
forgiven him/her.
During
the 16 years, which I was active, I've done a lot of destructive,
not just to myself, but also the people who love me. I can't
say my addiction progressed cause my first high was a shot of
dope. I ended up leaving school so I could hustle and support
my habit. In time I started banging coke and doing speedballs,
which eventually led to my being arrested. Cause I was still
a minor at that time I got off with a slap on the wrist. Big
deterrent don't you think? It wasn't long after that I started
my own little crime spree. Things like boosting, burglaries,
drug charges, FTA's (failure to appear)…you know the drill.
I've
probably been incarcerated by the courts a total of 15 out of
the last 22 years of my life. During one of my incarcerations
I got involved with the addiction services and ended up becoming
the clerk for the office. Don't misunderstand what I'm telling
you, that was in 1990 and my road has continued to be one of
bad decision after another.
I
ended up staying clean and in recovery for about 2 years after
I got out. And guess what the addict in me had me convinced…I
was cured! Telling myself things like it's okay you don't need
these people, you can do it on your own now. Yeah, right! That
lasted about 4 months if I was lucky. Then I ended up right
back where I had left off in 1990, but on top of the dope now
I'm introduced to crack so I'm off and running…not a menace
to society, but a menace to myself.
Back
in jail trying it again, I guess I hadn't hit my lowest then
either cause I kept using and returning to the Department of
Correction. So much that I was expert on Department of Correction
policies, but still not wise enough to get my own life in order.
Then
finally I hit bottom, for the last time I hope, because I got
tired of hurting the one and myself's around me. They are the
same people that only wanted the best for me and who wanted
me to do the right thing. Since hitting bottom, I restarted
my life back on the right side of the fence. I have to be honest
today because I only attend a meeting when I feel a need. But
if I can help someone with finding the help they need I make
sure I'm available.
Since
starting over I did end up back in jail behind drugs but this
time I was selling instead of using. The good side of this message
is that I'm grateful for my last incarceration cause the stinking
thinking was coming back and I got real close to using again,
and I can't afford another relapse.
For
the record I have 6 years clean and sober. But for myself, I
only have today!
Thank
you,
I'm Rich and I'm a miracle!
Daydreaming
By Victor
I
think of where I am and ask myself "why"? as I look
out the window at the beautiful blue sky. The trees are just
swaying in the afternoon breeze and I know I could have avoided
this place with relative ease. I wonder who is doing what, where,
and when, thinking to myself, "I cannot wait to get out
there". Do you know where this place is I'm trying to explain,
as I wonder how to make amends to those I caused so much pain.
You may think this place is somewhere in my mind, but only time
can snap me out of a dream of this kind. This place was build
for people like me who had better things to do than to live
life normally! You might like to know this place leaves much
to be desired to be allowed in here, a degree of stupidity is
all that is required. I tell myself it's just a dream and it
is all in my head. Then someone YELLS, "lock-up! It is
time to go to bed. Reality kicks in like some sort of alarm
clock bell. As they close the door to my ice-cold cell. Today
I don't daydream too much about my painful childhood and being
in a cold cell, because I discovered a new way of living thanks
to my loving God, Jesus the son of God, myself and my recovery
community.
The
Unseen Tear
By
Victor
What
is it like being imprisoned? I am asked. It is PAIN! What kind
of pain? I am asked. Terrible unimaginable pain, and unless
you experience it, you will never know it. Describe the pain?
I am asked. Imagine if you can the most dreadful event possible
that could ever occur to you. The pain and hurt you feel when
a tear is coming from your eyes because of sadness and despair,
and multiply it one million times! You cannot do it. It is not
possible for one to imagine that hurt, unless one is imprisoned.
A tear cannot carry the pain that I feel from being imprisoned.
It is just not possible; the pain is overflowing in the heart,
unable to cry, because the tears cannot wash away this pain.
My tears have no more feelings because my pain is so real. I
can cry, but I cannot feel the pain in my tears, they just don't
carry the pain away anymore. They just cannot wash the pain
away…
