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Hi,
my name is Dee Georgette, I am a mother although I no longer
have a child. My son Tony was 24 years old and an addict. Tony died
alone in our home just 11 days after returning from a 60-day rehabilitation
program here in Connecticut.
The
years that Tony was ill, in and out of recovery. My family who knew
little or nothing about addiction would say things to me like:
"What’s wrong with him, doesn’t he know what he is doing
?"
"Can’t
he just stop?"
But the worst comment came from my ex-husband and Tony’s father:
"Tony just doesn’t give a damn, he doesn’t want to stop,
he is weak, he is a loser."
All I could say to him or to anyone else for that matter was:
"What’s wrong with Tony is that he is sick. He can’t
stop because he is sick with the disease of Addiction!"
If Tony had cancer and he was dying, would you tell me he was a loser?
Or would you try and help Tony get the best and most effective treatment
he needed and deserved. But, as I learned, what’s needed and deserved
is not so readily available.
So,
in fact I did watch Tony die a little everyday.
I
saw sorrow in his eyes. I saw the pain and the shame he endured from
being stigmatized as a drug addict. I saw the wanting and the searching
for the help he so desperately needed. We filled out endless streams
of paperwork governed by state regulations. We spoke to Social Worker,
Counselors, Nurses and Doctors in Detox Centers, only to hear those
feared and dreaded words:
"There are no beds available, call back tomorrow…call back
in 3 days, call back next week…call back in a month!"
All the while Tony SURVIVING the only way he could.
When Tony finally did get a detox bed he was released in the usual 5
to 7 days and told to go into a Rehabilitation Program. This process
in itself was most frustrating and unbearable again hearing more of
the same:
"No beds available, or Insurance Regulations do not permit….."
So, finally Tony goes into Rehab and after a few weeks is released back
into the world, frightened and scared and still unprepared for his new
life.
All the while I’m watching and hearing people pity me while they
tell me how they have communication with their children. They warn them
against the dangers of drugs and drinking. Their kids are smart, they
know enough not to use drugs.
Tony and I had an extremely close, strong and open relationship. Does
anybody really believe I told him to become a Junkie, to ruin his life
so one rainy night in April he could die of an overdose leaving his
family and friends devastated and the world with one less kind and loving
soul?
Stop for a moment and think about what I have just told you………think
of the words I have just associated with Tony, words like.. sickness,
alone, shame, sorrow, pain and fear.
So today I ask you:
Think with your hearts for a moment to what I have said. I loved Tony
more than life itself. Think about if it was your child who was sick
with the disease of addiction.
Would
it make them scum?
Would it make them weak or a useless human being?
NO, It would just make them sick and in desperate need of help.
And wouldn’t you want the best available treatment for your child?
Let us not be misled, addiction is a disease and must have the treatment
available like that of any other potentially fatal disease.
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