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JOINING GOD’S ROUND TABLE
During
the days of chivalry, as the story is told- a magical sword was embedded
in stone. Many tried unsuccessfully to remove it. Only one who was honorable,
and worthy could and would. The sword was called Excalibur, and the
one who finally possessed it was King Arthur, and he went on to become
king of a mighty nation. He had a table made round so that when he sat
at it, along with his noble men, who were worthy to be knights, all
would be considered equal. That must have been a wonderful time to be
a man. Even greater was the fact that they were men who fought for-
and reveled in- the glory of God.
How could I fight for the glory of God when I was homeless, and strung
out on drugs and alcohol? How could I fight for the glory of God, when
I could barely summon the strength to continue living the reality and
despair of addiction? How could I be worthy of being a man in God’s
world when I was living like an animal?
My life was slipping away. I had lost all hope. The wind was truly knocked
out of my sails. I was living (if you could call it that) underneath
a bridge. I would reflect back on my life- some twenty years or more-
and remember that first drink. I remember that first high. I am filled
with remorse and resentment. I look back- there was no high school graduation,
no prom. There wasn’t even a girlfriend.
Wait a minute, where is God? Did I not read somewhere in the Bible,
along with countless other phrases, "God so loved the world…"
Wasn’t I someone who was in the world? Did He mean only the world
of the church goers? How could He allow this to happen to me? Why was
He not willing to save me? Was He as ashamed of me, as I was of myself?
My life was smothered in darkness. I was barely alive, and I was always
too drunk or high to know or care if He loved me, anyway. I had eyes,
yet I was not able to see. I had ears and could not hear. I was truly,
among the living dead.
Then one day I prayed with all my might. "Help me Father for I
can see no more. Help me Father for I can feel no more. Help me Father
for I am engulfed in darkness." Then it happened. I had a spiritual
awakening. It was a vision but not as normal eyes could see. It was
a vision that illuminated from within me. There He was- sitting on a
throne, Glorious and Pure. It was God! Although, He seemed miles away,
His hand was right before me. The Supreme Being who so many have called
‘Savior’ had come to save me. "Take my hand, I’ll
bring you out of darkness, I will see you through."
"For God, who said ‘Let light shine out of darkness, made
His light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge
of the glory of God in the face of Christ." (II Corinthians 4:6)
People talk about how far I’ve come in such a short time. They
see the tangible, the wealth, the improved health. But the true wealth
has been bestowed unto me by His Grace. I have life today, real life.
I have peace today, real peace. I have joy today, real joy. I experience
love today, true love. And I am never alone, "Lo, I am with you
always, even unto the end of the world" (Matthew 28:20).
I have been clean and sober for over three years. I am thankful to God,
and His love. My life is forever changing, shifting. He is molding me.
I am but clay in the potter’s hand. I have been made into something
I could never make of myself. I am now a noble man, a man worthy of
sitting at God’s ‘round table.’
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